Are You Dealing With A Fake Friend? 10 Traits Of A Frenemy

Real Vs Fake Friendship?

Friendships are an invaluable part of our lives. True friends are a source of strength and solace during the most difficult times, bringing us comfort and standing by us when we need them the most. Unfortunately, not all friendships are genuine and beneficial. Most of us have had the displeasure of dealing with fake friends or frenemies. What may have started as a trustworthy bond can turn out to be an insincere relationship.

What Is Real Vs Fake Friendship?

Mutual admiration and positivity are the backbone of every healthy friendship. In its essence, friendship is a two-way street where you and your friend support each other, enrich each other’s lives, and can always rely on one another for help. A real friend is someone you genuinely care about and whose company you enjoy.

However, fake or toxic friendship dynamics are a whole other story. Fake friends are unable to show authentic respect or consideration for your interests. Interacting with them often feels emotionally exhausting. When you spend time with these people, you may feel the urge to put on a mask and behave in specific ways to avoid their overwhelming negativity.

How To Spot A Fake Friend?

Depending on the background, fake friendships can manifest in various ways. However, upon closer examination, you'll find common character traits and patterns that give a fake friend’s game away. One telltale sign is a lack of commitment from your so-called friend. These people tend to be self-centered, always prioritizing their own interests over yours. Maintaining this kind of one-sided relationship can be extremely hurtful.

Bearing that in mind, here are the top 10 signs that you are dealing with a frenemy.

1. They Only Care About Themselves

Unlike true friendships that thrive on give and take, fake friends are highly selfish individuals who befriend you for their personal gain. Although they may occasionally put on a facade of kindness, they show no genuine concern for your well-being. Make no mistake, they will ultimately exploit your friendship for their own advantage. When you have nothing left to offer, a fake friend will abandon you without a second thought.

2. They Talk Behind Your Back

A good friend will always support and defend you, even when you are not around. On the other hand, fake friends won't think twice before gossiping behind your back. They excel at playing mind games by spreading lies and making up stories. In your absence, they might reveal your secrets and even twist the information you confided in them.

Talk Behind Your Back

3. They Drain Your Energy

Fake friends who seek to compensate for their own lack of enthusiasm by draining your energy are known as energy vampires. They tend to stick around as long as you give them attention, feeding their ego with your focus. Their stinging remarks and constant negativity leave you mentally and emotionally exhausted.

4. They Are Overly Competitive

It isn’t unusual for friendships to involve a dose of light-hearted competition. However, it becomes obvious when this competition crosses the line. In insincere friendships, competition is not rooted in good intentions or enjoyment. Instead, it stems from envy or the desire to elevate oneself above others. Such individuals only befriend you to showcase their superiority.


5. They Are Judgemental

It's important to have friends who support and uplift you rather than constantly criticizing you. People who always question your thoughts or decisions are probably not your true friends. They may claim to have your best interests at heart, but in reality, they are only setting you up for more letdowns and setbacks. While a certain level of disagreement is normal in any friendship, an excessive amount of criticism is never a positive indication.

6. They Never Offer You Support

If your friend is never there to lend a sympathetic ear when you need it, you should question their commitment to your friendship. Instead of actively listening and offering emotional support, fake friends will just give you half-hearted affirmations. Real friends, on the other hand, will always pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and problems.

7. They Are Attention Seekers

We've all encountered people who crave drama and strive to be the center of attention. Having these people as friends can be challenging, as they often engage in manipulative and selfish behaviors. Attention-seeking can manifest in various ways, but it's frequently a sign of a disingenuous friendship.

8. They Treat You Like A Second Option

If you have someone in your life who always prefers to hang out with others, you are probably dealing with a fake friend. Even in a group or social gathering, they prefer talking to anyone but you. Despite their claims of being close friends, you will always be disposable to them. They don't value your self-esteem or dignity, as they see you as a tool to be used for their own benefit.

9. They Are Addicted To Gossip And Drama

Controversy is toxic people’s most addictive source of entertainment; it’s almost like their daily caffeine fix. Their constant need for drama and scandals creates an atmosphere of tension and unease. When there's a shortage of gossip, they'll intentionally create and enjoy it, even if it hurts the people they claim to care about. 

10. They Have A Shallow Approach To Friendship

Some people prioritize how their friendships appear on camera over how they actually are in real life. If your friend is more concerned with broadcasting your every move than actually enjoying your time together, it may be a red flag. Keep an eye out for superficial behavior and decide if it's time to move on from the friendship.

Final Thoughts

Once you have learned how to identify a fake friend, take steps to protect yourself from these harmful individuals and form new friendships with trustworthy people. While finding a genuine and loyal friend may be challenging, the rewards are immense as true friendships can endure a lifetime and propel us towards our greatest achievements.

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